For the Record ... I'd Whip Dat Ass

Funny, I often feel like I'm chained to the internet. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Goodreads, Podomatic, etc., etc., etc. I think there's even a Myspace page out there somewhere with my name on it. Yet, I know I'm not nearly as connected as a lot of you out there. And, to be completely honest, I ignore most of the stuff I'm apparently connected to. There are too many internet controversies, curiosities, and sensations that I've never even heard of or paid attention to.

It took me an e-ternity (sorry, couldn't help it) before I heard of this whole Amber Cole debacle. And, once I found out, I promptly tried to ignore it. After all, as the father of a four-year-old black girl, why the hell would I want to hear about a 14-year-old black girl going down on some boy, allowing herself to be videotaped, and then having that video going viral. Why would I want to put myself in that girl's father's place? And I thought Laurence Fishburn had it bad.

Yet today, something on my Twitter timeline did catch my attention. Apparently, some brother, Jimi Izrael (apparently he's got a little fame to him) actually did imagine that he was Amber Cole's father and posted his imaginings on Jezebel. As I said, I ain't goin' there. That place is too dark, too depressing to even contemplate. However, something that Jimi wrote did catch my eye:

The Harrowing Tale of America's First "Crazy Negro"

Lifted from Ira Berlin's Slaves without Masters. Draw your own conclusions (but I prefer to promote "insanity")...

In 1811, Christopher McPherson, a free Negro of considerable talent and modest wealth who also styled himself “Pherson, the first son of Christ,” hired Herbert H. Hughes, a white schoolmaster, and opened a night school for free Negroes and slaves who had the consent of their master. Classes began at dusk and ran until nine-thirty, and Hughes taught “the English language grammatically, Writing, Arithmetic, Geography, Astronomy, &c. &c.” for a fee of about $1.25 per month. The results were most promising. The school opened with twenty-five pupils, and McPherson noted that “from frequent application since, ‘tis expected the number will shortly be doubled.” McPherson was so pleased with his initial success that he publicly boasted of the school in the Richmond Argus, and recommended “to the people of colour throughout the United States (who do not have it in their power to attend day schools) to establish similar institutions in their neighborhoods.” Excited over the new possibilities, he hoped “that everyone who loves his Country, and has it in his power will generously further and foster every institution of the kind that may be established throughout this happy Union.”