How to Become a Skinny White Chick

In the proud tradition of Madame C.J. Walker, Dove announces a miracle bath product that will ... well, take a look for yourself.

I hear it's selling like hot cakes beef patties down in Jamaica. 

Less Attractive Than Whom?

You may have heard this already, but yesterday Psychology Today posted yet another "scientific" study on the inherent inferiority of the African "race." Apparently, some dude pulled a PhD diploma out of his ass Lucky Charms cereal and asked "Why Are Black Women Less Attractive"?

The London School of Economics- and Birckbeck College-affiliated "evolutionary psychologist," Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa proves that he himself and his supposedly scientific field has not much evolved beyond the--I thought--discredited field of social Darwinism. Apparently, his phrenological study on how the Negro has smaller brain capacity and, therefore, cannot attain high levels of intellect nor responsibility was thrown out by P.T. His empirical study on how the Negro cannot possibly experience pain was dismissed after one Negro on P.T.'s Board promised to inflict pain if the study was published.

But our intrepid Dr. Kanazawa would not be deterred. After all, it is science's duty to, every few years, show without a scientific doubt that melanin superiority necessarily equates to every-damned-thing-else inferiority. So now, the good doctor pressed a new wrinkle into the African Inferiority Debate (A.I.D.): Testosterone.

According to Doctor Kanazawa, the Negro has an overabundance of testosterone, which somehow makes the Negress less attractive than women of other races while the Negro male remains just as adorable as all the other men out there. Oddly enough, during the turn of the last century, it was the Negro's overabundance of testosterone that made him especially susceptible to the effects of cocaine--turning his darky, little brain mad and turning the colored into a wild, growling, jungle beast whose muscles, already genetically honed for hard labor, became superhuman in strength, leading to an animal frenzy that had to be beaten into submission (you know, like Rodney King).

I guess with evolutionary psychologists ... the more things change the more they stay the same.

Damn ...

I just read this last night in Hoodlums: Black Villains and Social Bandits in American Life by William L. Van Deburg and needed to share it.


"In the five decades between the end of Radical Reconstruction and the start of the Great Depression, more than 3,200 black men, women, and children were executed by southern mobs. Few of the perpetrators were brought to justice, fewer still punished for their crimes. Evidencing a marked June-to-August seasonality and heavily concentrated in the "Black Belt" running through Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana, this plague of lynching fever peaked during the 1890s, went into remission during World War I, reappeared in the early 1920s, and experienced a final decline during the 1930s. Despite the best efforts of the reform press, the black pulpit, and groups such as the Commission on Interracial Corporation and the NAACP, vigilante 'justice' was meted out to a black victim nearly once a week, every week between 1882 and 1930."

Where Credit Is Due

In our incessant 25/8 news cycle, nothing happens without an ensuing controversy. In what should be a self-satisfied victory lap for the Obama administration for the assassination of Osama bin Laden, controversies abound for said assassination. Was bin Laden armed or not? Did he use a woman as a human shield? How much did Pakistan know? And, most annoyingly, who deserves the credit for putting the World's #1 Bad Guy down.

While many are surprised that the last controversy has begun to swell, we really shouldn't be. There are many out there who absolutely despise Obama and everything that he's done. Many of them will simply refuse to give him any credit for anything. It's much like when my boy Bart in Blazing Saddles disposes of the behemoth bad guy, Mongo, with an exploding candy gram. His white sidekick, Jim, congratulates Bart on his ingenious invention, and Bart says something along the lines of "Yeah, but they'll never give me credit for it."

So many of them want to give Bush as much credit as is humanly possible. Many because, as I said, they simply don't want to credit Obama for anything--even when he does something they like. Others because they want to justify the use of torture--sorry, "enhanced interrogation." One can't blame them, of course. There is an ongoing federal investigation in the Justice Department of many of the proponents of torture and what they did or did not do during their time in the Bush administration.