Wednesday, March 23, 2011

National Riff on Juan Williams Day

That Fox money apparently has Juan running scared and running at the mouth. Now, he's admitting that he's afraid of his fellow Negroes when he sees them running in "thuggish packs" hunting down antelope walking down the street. It made us wonder what else Senor Juanito sees when he sees "The Other".


"When I see blacks, dressed in traditional black garb, I make chitlins."

"When I see blacks, dressed in traditional black garb, I jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton."

"When I see blacks, dressed in traditional black garb, I move. Property values are about to plummet."

"When I Zulus, dressed in traditional Zulu garb, I scream, 'Go back to Africa!'"

"When I see Uighurs, dressed in traditional Uighur garb, I take pictures."

"When I see Sikhs, dressed in traditional Sikh garb, I think, '9/11!!!'"

"When I see Rudy Giuliani, I think, '9/11!!!'"

"When I see Amish, dressed in traditional Amish garb, I beep my car horn and tell them to hurry that damned horse and buggy up. I got places to be."

"When I see Cossacks, dressed in traditional Cossack garb, I get horny."

"When I see Cherokee, dressed in traditional Cherokee garb, I cry a single tear for the environment."

"When I see an Indian, a traffic cop, a biker, and a construction worker, I sing, 'YMCA.'"

"When I see an Australian, dressed in traditional Australian garb, I ask him if he wants extra spit in his shine today, Mr. Murdoch, sir."

"When I see transvestite prostitutes, dressed in traditional transvestite prostitute garb, I pull out a fifty."

"When I see rednecks, dressed in traditional redneck garb, I grab the noose and hang my damned self from the tree. Thank you very much."


  1. When I hear someone like Juan Williams saying dumb shit things like people like Juan Williams says, I'm reminded of a line made famous by the great icon of American comedy Richard Prior. . . and I realize yes, this is a crazy one.

  2. Welcome back!!! Hadn't checked in a while and am so glad to have your world-view to check the insanity.

  3. @Sag Hill -- Crazy like a FOX News! The man just knows who signs his checks, is all.

    @Shelley -- I'm gonna try my damnedest to actually BE back. But I'm glad to be here while it lasts. Thanks.