Thursday, September 9, 2010


I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.

--Thomas Jefferson (oh yeah, Lefties can cherry-pick TJ quotes, too)

As we all know by now, some kooky pastor, Rev. Terry Jones, from a backwater Florida micro-church has made international news by claiming that he's going to burn the Quran on Saturday, September 11, because Islam kills Christians. Or something like that.

I gotta admit, as a publicity stunt, Jones has pulled off the Coup of the Year. Like Swamp Thing, he has risen from the toxic Florida sludge to terrify the entire world. He's basking in his 15 minutes now, but Lord knows, his spotlight will burn on for at least another hour at least. I see guest sermons all across this nation's fundamentalist circuit, at least one book deal, radio and television interviews, a little 69 love fest with Pat Robertson. All hail, Joe the Pastor! Wurzelbacher, look out!

And forgive me Father, for I have sinned, but I gotta confess ... I kinda want him to do it.

No, I don't hate Islam nor Muslims. Too many Muslims saved my ass back when I used to live in the Czech Republic for me to have nothing but love for those People of the Book. I owe Ayman, Bushara, Abdelatif, Mamadou, Dame, and too many others for me to feel otherwise.

It's just that I'm an American, a proud American, and I believe in all the things that make America great! Unlike all these hand-wringing Liberals whining about how this country was founded on religious freedom and tolerance, I--and the Tea Baggers--know the truth. Rev. Terry Jones is simply being true to American history.

That City on a Hill that the Puritans founded was full of some seriously (self-)righteous motherfuckers. Oh yeah, they had no problem running heretics out of town, brought the marshmallows as they burned those poor fools at the stake. They tarred and feathered Quakers, beat them down in the streets, roasted their oats on the pyre.

We Americans have banded together to kill Catholics (those "Anti-Christ" "Whores of Babylon") in the streets and burn down their schools and convents. We beat and chased the Mormons out of the Midwest (some ultimately running all the way to Canada and Mexico). We passed laws against their religion and jailed thousands of them. President Buchanan even sent federal troops to whup that tail back in 1857.

See, there was a time in America (some folks call them "The Good Old Days") when Americans proudly wore their hatred like a Badge of Honor--or some shit. Hated Quakers? Kill 'em! Hated Catholics? Mormons? Kill them bitches!!! Hated the nigra? Kill 'em, castrate 'em, lynch 'em, go into their neighborhoods and kill as many of 'em as possible until they flee North. Hell, you didn't even have to hate 'em. They could simply be in the way. When was the last time you saw a Creek in Georgia?

This was the American way!

Do you really think that those proud American seamen were being unpatriotic in August of '42 when they went into East L.A. by the hundreds and beat every Mexican, Negro, and Filipino they could find in a zoot suit? Hell no! These were our fightin' boys, 'bout to go off to win the world's freedom! They were the Greatest Generation, after all. They were fightin' for America, damnit!

And they were proud of it!!!

But nowadays, we've got nothing but cowardly patriots like the Tea Party movement. Here they are with their "Niggar" signs, portraying Obama as a "voodoo" witch doctor with bones through his nose, as a monkey, as a "Lyin' African," and yet they don't even have the balls to call themselves "Racist." Faubus, Wallace, Thurmond, and Helms must all be circle-jerking in their graves in shame.

These sunshine patriots shout endlessly about "taking our country back." They laugh about their signs with Obama in the cross-hairs. They bring guns to their rallies, even bring them across the river from our nation's capitol. Yet, they quiver in faux horror (yeah, I know--I used a French word) when you even suggest that they are being seditious, that they're even remotely encouraging the assassination of a President, that they are actually advocating the overthrow of our country.

What would Patrick Henry say?

Well, I know what Rev. Terry Jones is saying. He is saying ...


He is taking America back to its roots. He is saying that Muslims kill Christians. And I would say, "Yes! ... during the Ottoman Empire the Muslims killed tons of Christians ... but when compared to the Crusades, European colonialism, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan ... well, enough truth. This is about America!!!

Sure, Bush Babee's Brigadier, David Petraeus, has drawn a line in the sand, has said that Jones's planned Quran burning would actually further put Americans and our troops in harm's way. I know that Jones is now hedging a bit, saying he may "consider" backing down if only Obama would call him and whisper sweet-nothings in his ear. But I say, Fuck that!

Jones earlier suggested that people mail him even more Qurans to burn. I say, flood the US Postal system--they need the money. Send as many Qurans is humanly possible. I want every single one of you out there who believe in America!!!! (yeah, even you, Toby Keith) to go down there and support the man--and his mission. It would be a pathetic showing if only this crackpot and his 40 crack-addled supporters show up.

We need to show American strength on this one. We need all the people who support Jones, support his Quran burning, and support everything this country has stood for to travel down to BFE, FL, with their American flag fanny packs, their American flag T-shirts, their guns and "Lyin' African" posters, to "bring it on!"

I want Jones to do the impossible--to supplant W. as the A-#1 Al Qaeda Recruitment Tool. I want young Muslim men and women the world over who were simply trying to live their lives to see Jones and see what Jones and his America is all about!!!

It is high-time for all the hand-wringing Liberals to rub their eyes, to stop acting like the Sages of Byzantium, arguing over who is more morally superior while their country burns around them; for the Mainstream Media to stop equivocating and legitimating the lies surrounding our political "discourse"; for every man, woman, and child in these here United States to watch the book burning in Nuremberg, Florida, this Saturday and finally see the truth behind the "real" America Jones and people have been preaching for ever since Obama took office.


  1. I find this whole situation to be truly bizarre. First of all, we are burning actual Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan right now. Actual children, in fact, today will wake up and go to sleep in a ceaseless torrent of unending pain due to all over burns from missiles and bombs dropped from our planes, helicopters, and robots. We've probably burned 10,000 children to death since all this business has begun (But who's counting?) So, imagine being a child. Now imagine being a child who wakes up with the house on fire and there's no escape. Phosphorus and napalm and TNT and Semtex combining in a fury that sears you seemingly unceasingly. It burns you alive. People, even children, live for a long time in fire. It is unquestionably a horrible way to die. For instance, children need their eyes to read the Koran, but if we burn them to death, as we have done thousands of times over the last 8 years, the aqueous humour in their eyes boils and their eyes burst. So even if they survive, they can't read this important book. People, including kids, instinctively close their eyes when they are being burned alive, unfortunately, the thin skin of their eyelids is one of the first things to be seared off and burned away... never to return. That's why burn victims have that big eye look. If you are a child who is unlucky enough to be burned by phosphorus (from a flare, say), the phosphorus tunnels quickly through your skin to your bones where it begins ferociously reacting with your bones. Your bones will burn inside you faster than your skin. You burn from the inside out. And it won't go out, even if you douse yourself with water. And it is inevitable that the phosphorous will get into your blood. So if you don't die of the burns, you will die more slowly and painfully from the poisoning.


  2. Ahh yes, the difference between what the elites who sell shit through our media and the reality of our foreign policy.

    Boggles the mind, eh?