Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Decider's Lowest Presidential Points

Thankfully-ex President George W. Bush has now proudly carried on a presidential tradition started by his father: he's taking on the rappers. If you haven't heard by now, "The Decider" has written a memoir, where he says that, when Kanye West told the nation that W. doesn't care about black people, he was "disgusted" and "deeply insulted" and it was the lowest point of his presidency.

Personally, I don't get it. I could understand if that telethon was the lowest point in Mike Meyer's professional career. I mean, the brother hung him out to dry. You can just tell he was thinking, "Will you please shut the fuck up. I'm Canadian, yo. They can take away my green card. They're gonna 'extraordinary rendition' my ass to Syria."

I could even understand if Kanye had actually been Laura Bush telling the nation, in that cute Xanax-y drawl of hers, "My husband doesn't care about nigras." That would've really sucked. But Kanye?! Come on now. How the hell does he even appear on your radar. I have Kanye's first two albums, and even I don't care what the hell Kanye says.

Look, if the mucho macho Connecticut Ranger wanted to go all weepy Taylor Swift just to sell books, that's fine. He could've casually mentioned that Kanye's a punk-ass bitch and he gonna smoke dat fool. But saying that that was the lowest point in his quite historic Presidency ... that's going a bit far, W. Just off the top of my head (and I'm in a rush to get to work here), I can come up with at least a few moments during your White House tenure that are most definitely, in retrospect, much worse than when Kanye called you out and smacked the eyes out your momma's head (oh wait, too late):

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Robert Frost on Today's Elections

"It looked as if a night of dark intent
Was coming, and not only a night, an age.
Someone had better be prepared for rage...."

--Robert Frost, "Once by the Pacific"

Monday, November 1, 2010

Obama Will Want the Anal Probe: The Latest Teapublican Logic

The other day I had the distinct pleasure of listening to the Left's favorite "moderate" Republican, David Frum, on the radio. The question was: Who will you be voting for on Tuesday? Coming as a complete surprise, Frum waxed profound about why he was going to vote a straight Republican ticket.

His primary reasoning was that the country is in collapse and absolutely nothing that Obama has done has worked. In fact, if it hadn't been for Bush's TARP, this country would totally be in the shitter. (Funny how the Teapublicans have been hanging TARP around Obama's neck for the last two years, but, now that it seems to have been somewhat effective, at least Frum wants to take credit for it.) Basically, The Big Brother is utterly incompetent, and Frum claimed that the reason behind this buffoonery is because Obama has refused to lead. He has basically let the Democrats ride him like a brokeback bronco, and Obama has simply been presiding instead of being Presidential. Frum believes, if his party takes over one or both houses of Congress tomorrow, Obama will be forced to compromise, be forced to become a leader, and that he should actually embrace such an opportunity.

Now, since Obama's presidential election victory and the Republicans got booted out of power, I have heard from certain GOP quarters a queer sort of nostalgia for the days of Clinton and Newt. They speculate that this is perhaps the best way that the American government should be run--a Dem in the White House and Cons running the legislature. They speak fondly of the balanced budget, the projected budget surpluses, and all that economic prosperity of the late 1990s.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Michael Steele: "Now That's Racist!"

Ya know, I often joke that Michael Steele wouldn't recognize Racism if it burned a cross in his front yard and raped his momma. But, apparently, I'm wrong. Upon hearing of the reported rumors that Bill Clinton asked black senatorial candidate Kendrick Meek to step out of the race, Huey G.O.P. Newton released this statement:

"President Clinton's actions to have Kendrick Meek withdraw from the campaign sends a chilling signal to all voters, but especially African Americans. One can only imagine the response if Republican leadership tried to force out of the race – in the 11th hour – a qualified black candidate like Kendrick Meek."

Episode 7: Teapocalypse Now!!!

All right, I've got to confess: I am really proud of this one. And I beg you to take a listen. I think you'll find it funny--and funky, of course.

Parliament – Chocolate City   
Bilal Salaam – Fa Sho   
Outkast – Rosa Parks   
Talib Kweli & Hi Tek feat. Res – Back Again   
T-Love – When You’re Older (Ode to the Pickaninny)   

Embryo – Abdul Malek   
Pere Ubu – On the Surface   
Passion Pit – The Reeling   
Little Dragon – Runabout   
White Flight – Children of the Light   

Gil Scott-Heron – The Revolution Will Not Be Televised   
Boscoe – We Ain’t Free   
Public Enemy – Can’t Truss It   
X-Clan – Fire & Earth (100% Natural)   
The Chequers – Get Up, Stand Up   

El Guincho – Bombay   
Joe Bataan – Aftershower Funk   
War – Low Rider   
Charo & The Salsoul Orchestra – Cuchi-Cuchi   
Ely Guerra – Yo No   

Bethlehem Progressive Ensemble – Call to Worship (Make Way)   
Cliff Gober – A Poor Wayfaring Stranger   
William Bell – Save Us   
The Isley Brothers – Harvest for the World   
The Road Home – Birds   

Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Lazy Man's Movie Review: Blood: The Last Vampire

A 1970 American airbase in Japan is being terrorized by demons. And only a katana-wielding, Satan spawn-slaying, racially confused Japanese demon hunter (Gianna Jun) can save them honkeys' asses so they can keep bombing the shit out of her Asian brothers and sisters in Vietnam.

OK, that ain't exactly how it's portrayed. I just wanted to use the word "honkey" in a sentence. You know, express my inner Sherman Helmsley.

Blood is really and truly horribly acted. I swear half of the "Americans" in this film have Australian accents, and Gianna Jun's English is awkward, at best. Like 90 percent of its Hollywood horror counterparts, this Sino-Hong Kong-French production set in Japan starring a South Korean actress degenerates into a "Save the White Chick" movie. Seriously, I asked my brutha, Yaphet Koto, this back in '79 with Alien: If all they're gonna do is scream and cry and eventually get your ass killed, can't you just pull your Social Darwinism card, say, "See ya!" and let the big bad monster eat they asses?

I'm just sayin'.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Too Old for This

Ya know, I'm a reasonable guy--fairly good-natured--quick to annoyance, but slow to anger. When I signed up for this whole African-American thing, I expected some prejudice, a bit of racism, stereotyping, good music, and even a bit of exoticism. I, even at the tender age of a zygote, foresaw more than a few occasions of racial profiling.

So, in my youth, I took it all in stride. Didn't get too angry. Never (completely) lost my mind. I'd been stopped by the police for driving while black, walking while black, looking at them the wrong way while black, looking at them period while black, for being black, looking black, and, for all I know, smelling black (but never sounding black--how odd). As far as I'm concerned, I've done my time (one night for drunken disorderly at Cook County's Finest).

But, as I said, I'm a fairly reasonable man. So, when one of Bethesda's finest profiled me almost two years ago, I took it all in stride. Hell, I even made light of it. After all, I was 38. It had been a long time since I'd had any kind of interaction with po-po. It reminded me of my youth.

However, people, play time is over! I'm 40. I don't have time for and I am too old for this shit. This has just got to stop. Do you hear me, Bethesda P.D.? Hunh?!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Damned Socialist Founding Fathers

Earlier this week, I heard Virginia's Minister of Homophobic, Racist, You-Name-It Propaganda Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli talking about Virginia's law suit against "Obama," claiming, as usual, that, if health care reform is allowed to continue, America will be "crossing the line" where Congress will be able to force every citizen to purchase a consumer product. Later, his boss, Governor Bob "Il Douche" McDonnell further elaborated that Congress will be "crossing the line," taking over yet another duty that should be relegated to the states. And beneath all their ahistoric ramblings, you could just hear the whispered refrain, "Socialism ... Socialism ... Socialism ..."

Of course, once again, Republican analysis of American politics has absolutely nothing to do with their studying actual American history. Because, comrades, that dear Socialist line was crossed ages ago by none other than our Marxist-Leninist-Maoist Founding Fathers and signed into law by the Supreme Soviet himself, George Washington.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Oh, Juan

I need to start this post by making myself perfectly clear: I am not a Juan Williams fan. I owe the brother a huge debt of gratitude for his Eyes on the Prize documentary series. However, for the past few years, he's been steady-pissing me off. That Rupert Murdoch money has been getting too good to him, and he's been becoming more conservative by the fiscal year. He had a particularly large bug up his bugger over Obama in '08, and his calling the First Lady Stokely Carmichael in drag was way out of bounds. All that being said, the only thing more annoying than Williams' pseudo-sagacious commentary these past few years is his being fired by NPR for that same commentary last night.

The reason given for the termination was a comment Williams made on The O'Reilly Factor earlier this week:

"I mean, look, Bill, I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on a plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they're identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous." 

NPR claims that Williams' statements "were inconsistent with our editorial standards and practices, and undermined his credibility as a news analyst with NPR." Earlier today on that same network, one of their executives also claimed that Williams' spouting his opinion like that on Fox also undermined said "credibility."

Now, That Was a Bad Idea

Reading Sebastian Junger's riveting book, War, at work about a combat unit in the Korengal Valley in Afghanistan. It's an intense work. The stories are so personal, you actually feel like you're getting to know some of the soldiers. The portrayal of combat is so visceral, you get nervous along with them. And, of course, you mourn their losses. It is such a good book, I highly recommend it to everyone. Of course, with a younger brother about to ship off to Afghanistan (after he's already survived Iraq) was just a fucking bad idea.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Bill Campbell: Misanthrope Show ... Minisode 4: Happy Birthday, Poohbutt!!!

Please, do me the favor and give this minisode a listen.

Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson – Your Daddy Loves You
Al Jarreau – My Favorite Things
Medeski, Martin & Wood – Hickory Dickory Dock

Bill Cosby & Morgan Freeman – Jellybelly
Bob Dorough – Three Is the Magic Number
Stevie Wonder – Isn’t She Lovely?

Toots & The Maytals – Monkey Man
Desmond Dekker – Honour Your Mother and Father
The Tennors – Ride Yu Donkey
Harry Belafonte – The Banana Boat Song

Heatwave – Star of the Story
Prince – I Wish U Heaven

Monday, October 18, 2010

You Make It Too Easy, Angela

Today, German Chancellor Angela Merkel declared that German multiculturalism "utterly failed". Now, there are waaaayyyyyyy too obvious jokes we can make here ("Are we talking 1940 or 2010?" "Have you come up with a Final Solution yet, Angela?") that I'll refrain from making (oh, wait a second ...). I can deliver a whole bunch of rants about how Europeans love immigrants to lighten their load but not darken their doorsteps or, worse yet, their bloodstreams. I can go on and on about how fucked up race-baiting for votes is. I can even get smug and scoff about how this is just your colonialist past coming to bite you in the ass (though that wouldn't be too accurate in Germany's case--but when has being factually wrong stopped a blogger from ranting?).

Instead of all that, though, I simply want to ask a question to all these anti-immigrant white Europeans and European-Americans:

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Just Win, Baby!

It's been a mighty fine, mighty comfy moral perch we've been allowed to sit on, we Steelers fans. Our beloved team's owners, the Rooney family, don't take no mess. They draft for character; they reward good conduct; and they tolerate no bad conduct. Player after player who have messed up wearing the black and gold end up getting a pink slip.

And they've been able to win with that philosophy. Raiders owner, Al Davis, made amorality famous with his "Just win, baby!" motto. But look where that's got him. The Raiders haven't won a Super Bowl since the Marcus Allen era, and they've been utterly abysmal since losing to Tampa Bay in the Big Game back in '03. The Cincinnati Bungholes Bengals tried the same strategy a few years back and only wound up collecting more parole officers on the sidelines than wins on the scoreboard.

But it's not as though morality wins ball games. This high moral road the Rooneys have taken hasn't always resulted in Super Bowl victories--just more than any other team. The Steelers have spent a lot of time in my lifetime sucking (remember the end of the Noll years?). But when they have, we fans have always been allowed to feel a little smug in our frustration.

We've been able to deride Ray "Murder" Lewis. We scoffed at the Jimmy Johnson Cowboys and all their legal troubles. All those thugs and villains, drug dealers and drug fiends weren't in Steeler uniforms. And I admit, it felt a bit nice being so smug, so morally superior. The Rooneys seemed so serious about this stance, I don't think I'm the only Steelers fan who started adopting it as their own.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

"New Americans"??? Try Again, O'Malley

Now look, I often say and/or write the wrong thing. I often even revel in my own irreverence. But, truth be told, I actually do believe in the mission of the "Politically Correct." I believe that language can indeed influence and betray thought. If someone constantly uses the word "fag" in "polite" conversation, we can pretty much surmise how they feel about homosexuals, and, if I constantly called white people "honky," you'd know I was a 60-year-old former Black radical who lives in Hawaii with his Norwegian wife, eating tofu barbecue while puffing on that patchouli.

So, I am actually supportive of the whole PC movement, though I do confess I'm a bit conflicted. Anytime the PC factory comes out with a new term, I often find myself scoffing. As I did earlier tonight listening to the Maryland gubernatorial debate between Gov. Martin O'Malley and his Republican challenger (and former Maryland governor) Bob Ehrlich.

Tonight's new gem came from O'Malley, who has now decided on calling immigrants (legal or otherwise) "New Americans." It's so hard for me to figure out what my initial reaction to this new bit of political manipulation was since I got pissed at Ehrlich's own reaction to the new slogan.

"If someone breaks into my house, is that a new member of my family that night? It's not new Americans. [It's] illegals."

Monday, October 11, 2010

Medal of Honor: Trivializing Afghanistan

You know, you would think that the fact that the first generation to grow up with video games is already in its 40s would pretty much quash every controversy to arise over the latest video game. But I guess it's like when they used to tell our Baby Boomer parents that the "marijuana today is sooooo much more dangerous than what you smoked!!!"

Today's controversy is over EA's Medal of Honor, another one of those creepily realistic-looking, multi-player shoot 'em ups. Reportedly designed with the help of US armed forces, the game's furor is over the fact that it allowed you to play the game as the Taliban as well as US forces. Folks are basking in their own outrage (America's #1 reaction to anything that might just require thought), claiming that this multi-player option somehow "trivializes" what our troops are going through over there in Afghanistan.

Personally, I can't figure out how that can in the least bit be possible (they subsequently changed the "Taliban" to "Opposition Forces," or some such nonsense). When I used to fly my B-17 bomber missions over a digitized Europe with my old Intellivision, I don't feel I was in the least bit making light of what Jimmy Stewart, the Tuskegee Airmen, and the rest of our Fly Boys went through during WWII. But I don't think that's really the important argument in this whole broohaha.

I am more interested in the entire idea of what has actually trivialized our troops' struggles over there in Afghanistan. Just for the sake of a shorter post, I'll concede that Medal of Honor somehow does this. But I wonder what else may have had a larger "trivializing" factor in said conflict.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Bill Campbell: Misanthrope Show -- Episode 6: Global Funk Ambassador

Please check out the new show. And don't be afraid to tell me what you think.

I Am Not a Witch * Neanderthal Lessons * Stones vs. Beatles 


Piotr Figiel - Dyplomowany galernik
Can - Vitamin C
Isaac Hayes - Theme from Shaft
The Temptations - Cloud Nine
Piramis - Mondj Egy Meset

Serge Gainsbourg & Brigitte Bardot - Bonnie & Clyde [Herbert's Fred & Ginger Mix] Kaori - Good Life
Jungle Brothers - I'll House You
Isis - Hail the Words of Isis
Lonnie Liston Smith - Expansions

Hercules & Love Affair - Time Will
Steve Spacek - So Many Ways
Aloe Blacc - Want Me
Big Boi feat. T.I. & Khujo - Tangerine
Clutchy Hopkins w/Dorondo - Love of a Woman

Rolling Stones - Under My Thumb
Geno Washington & The Ram Jam Band - If This Is Love (I'd Rather Be Lonely)
The Jackson Five - Hum Along & Dance
Billy Preston - Outa-Space
John Lennon - Whatever Gets You Thru the Night

Robert Palmer - Through It All There's You

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Bill Campbell: The NFL Nostradamus

All right, I made a crazy prediction at work today. I think I'll share it with you.

The Steelers will go 13-3 (maaybeee 12-4), have home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, and will win their seventh Super Bowl title.

And to continue the crazy ...

Hines Ward will pull a Bettis and retire on the podium, James Farrior will retire a few weeks afterwards, and Mike Tomlin and his peoples will get to work on the third Steeler dynasty ... starting in 2016 ... three years after Big Ben retires from football to join the priesthood.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Poohbutt on War

"War is not nice."

"I don't like war."

"You shouldn't give people boo-boos."

"If you give people boo-boos, you should give them Band Aids."

"You should give them hugs, too."

Watch your ass, Sun Tzu!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Bill Campbell: Misanthrope Show -- Minisode 3: Pink Metal Jacket

What Happened When Don't Ask/Don't Tell Was Repealed

Please. Give it a listen.

The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men
Sylvester - You Make Me Feel

Grace Jones - Pull up to the Bumper
Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax
Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy

David Bowie - Right
Village People - San Francisco (You've Got Me)

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Dear "Christian" "Constitutionalist"

I know this is like beatin' a dead ho'e in the mouth. I understand that anything I say will not, in any way, sway your world view. You have Truth--your own truth--a truth so deep--a truth so profound--it really has nothing to do with Truth at all. So, I don't even know why I'm bothering to write this.

It's just that, see, I'm a bit of a history nerd. History utterly fascinates me. I don't think it's his story or her story. It is our story. It is the most important story ever written and, for obvious reasons, is told and retold every day.

It's not just that people who don't understand it are doomed to repeat it. Respecting history is a way that we can understand where we are as a species, where we have come from, and where we are going. It is a way to respect the people who came before us.

It is important for all of us to get our history right. And when you morph it, rewrite it, totally ignore it, or mutilate it into a mangled corpse for your own designs, you do us all a disservice and spit on the graves of those you claim to admire. 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

They're All a Bunch of Racists -- My White Boss Informs Me

Out of nowhere this morning:

Mrs. Charlie: You know, with all he's done, if Obama were white, people would be jumping for joy.

Billanthrope: Well, the Republicans would still hate him.

Mrs. Charlie: I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about all the people who call themselves "moderates" and "independents."

Billanthrope: Liberals seem to be hating on him a lot lately, too.

Mrs. Charlie: We all have our problems with him, of course. I've just been noticing lately that people keep complaining about how he's not doing anything. But he's actually done a lot. It's just no one is giving him credit for what he's done. And I'm just starting to think it's because he's black.

Billanthrope: Well, Mrs. Charlie, we black folks are raised to believe that even if we're twice as good as white people, we still won't be considered an equal--or something along those lines.

Mrs. Charlie: I guess I'm finally starting to come around to that way of thinking. I guess it's because I'm white.

Billanthrope: I guess we should be getting back to work, shouldn't we, Mrs. Charlie?

Mrs. Charlie: Good idea, Bill.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Buy Pop Culture Today!!!

The electronic version of my new book, Pop Culture: Politics, Puns, and Poohbutt from a Liberal Stay-at-Home Dad, went on sale just a few minutes ago--apparently.

Buy it today for less than $8 (the royalties should be just enough to buy Poohbutt some chicken nuggets):


"Bill's essays are by turns funny, serious, angry, insightful, and always compelling. He made me rethink much of what I thought I knew. I loved seeing politics and pop culture through his eyes."

--Steve Denton, Monkey Muck  

“Bill Campbell tackles race and religion, culture and class, politics and parenthood in this whip-smart collection of articles, essays and rants.  Both urban and urbane, his writing is sharp and modern, adorned with moments of great humor, insight and tenderness (and not only where his little daughter is concerned).”

--Shani Ferguson, Ratphooey  

“Campbell gives us interesting mini history lessons as they relate to current events.  And makes us LIKE them.  Dude cracks me up.”


Monday, September 20, 2010

The Impeachment of Barack Hussein Obama


"If you look long and hard enough for something, you will ultimately find it. Even if what you were looking for never really existed in the first place."

Those were the cryptic words Hunter Cullen White left me with earlier this evening at a Capitol Hill bar. It was a ruggedly cold afternoon, with a bitterly fierce wind slicing through DC, a perfect metaphor for the atmosphere here in Washington. The second week of Pres. Obama's impeachment had just come to a calamitous end--with several key Democrats storming out of the proceedings--and the architect behind said impeachment wanted to talk.

Many outside of Washington have never heard of Hunter White, but those inside the Beltway either exalt his prodigious mind or tremble in fear of his power.

This graduate of Jerry Falwell's Liberty University and University of Virginia's Law School first arrived in Washington in 1995 with the "Republican Revolution." He immediately landed a communications position with Tom DeLay's Congressional office. Some unofficially credit him for first finding Paula Jones and then Linda Tripp and Monica Lewinsky. Many think White the driving force behind Bill Clinton's own impeachment trial.

"We learned a lot of things with the Clinton debacle," White declared, behind a Grey Goose spritzer and piercing blue eyes. "We learned that we acted too late."

"What do you mean?" I asked, behind a Red Stripe.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Bill Campbell: Misanthrope Show Episode 5--The Charlie Rangel, Innocent Man Project

Shootin' the Shinola with Charlie * Never Hip-Hop Like This * Jimi Hendrix


Bobbi Humphrey – Harlem River Drive

North West Metropolis w/Cee Major & Pete Philly – Inside Out
Black Moon – How Many MCs (Must Get Dissed)
New York Port Authority – I Got It
George Duke – Omi (Fresh Water)
Cassiano – Onda

UB40 – Sardonicus
Diplo w/Sandra Melody, Vybz Cartel & Pantera Os – Diplo Rhythm
Major Lazer w/Vybz Cartel – Pon de Floor
Stereotyp w/Tikiman – Fling Style
Peter Tosh – Downpressor Man

Led Zeppelin – When the Levees Break
Boogie Down Productions w/Just-Ice – Ya Slippin’
Handsome Boy Modeling School – Rock n’ Roll (Could Never Hip-Hop Like This)
Rage against the Machine – Mic Check
Bullion – Sloop Jay D

Earth Wind & Fire – Evil
Rotary Connection – Respect
Marie Queenie Lyons – See and Don’t See
Disco Dub Band – For the Love of Money
Shango – A Taste of Honey
Harlem River Drive – Harlem River Drive Theme

Jimi Hendrix – Who Knows

I hope you check it out. And I pray that you enjoy it.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

High Fructose Orwell Juice

Browsing my Facebook friends' status updates earlier today, I saw that one friend asked the food industry if they thought we, the consumer, were going to be fooled by their changing the name of high fructose corn syrup to "corn sugar."

Now, I'm sick with the flu. I have hacked and vomited so many times that my every abdominal muscle is killing me. I'm exhausted, not so "high on life" at the moment, and keep watching true crime shows on cable. So, all I keep thinking is "Yes ... Oh, God. Yes."

I confess, I haven't really gotten into the science behind the high fructose backlash. The stuff kinda creeps me out. I mean, anything that can be made that cheaply, become anything you want it to become, taste like anything you want it to taste, and be in just about everything bad for you, can't be good. I'm not alone in this. Face it, the stuff does have a bad rep--deserved, or not--and a name change can only do the Satan sap good.

There are several reasons I think this can work. ValuJet was getting slammed for its plane crash in the Everglades back in the mid-90s and the FAA started exposing the airline's shady safety record. They changed  their name to AirTran, and it was like the whole nightmare went away. And have you ever seen the list of chemicals they've allowed to list under "Natural Flavors"?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A Christian Democracy?

All right, yall, it's September 11th. So, I'm not going to spread my nation's cyber bytes full of vitriol and snark today. But I do want to ask a serious question--or ask a question seriously--not sure about the grammar on that one.

Anyway, I'm reading this book, Kingdom Coming by Michelle Goldberg, about the rise of Christian nationalism in the United States. It's an interesting book--and somewhat terrifying.

However, in KC Christian nationalists and fundamentalists declare that this is a Christian nation founded by Christians for Christians on Christian principles. It's nothing I haven't heard before, and Liberals try to PC-up the same claim by calling them Judeo-Christian values. But some on the Christian Right even claim that the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were written with the help of the Bible.

Now, secular humanist that I am, I've often thought that those glorious forefathers of ours founded this nation on the principles, theories, and beliefs of the French and Scottish Enlightenments. There sure is enough scholarship to back that up.

So, I'm wondering ... Are there actually any instances/passages/verses/etc. in the Bible that promote, predict, or prescript Democracy or the Representational Republic in which we live?

Seriously, is there anything other than belief to back up these Christians' claims?

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Speaking of "Christian values," I recently read that the early abolitionists had to stop arguing for the freeing of the slaves on "Christian" grounds because there were actually more passages in the Bible condoning slavery than condemning it and, in public debate, pro-slavery Southerners would constantly hand their ... hats to them.]

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Bill Campbell: Misanthrope Show Minisode 2: Get Off Your Ass and Jam

THIS WEEK'S SPECIAL: My heartfelt rant against my fellow, whiny Liberals. Enjoy!

Funkadelic – Get Off Your Ass and Jam

The Doobie Brothers – Takin’ it to the Streets * Curtis Mayfield – Get Down * Marva Broome & The Art Ensemble of Chicago – Mystifying Mama

Ramp – The American Promise * Flying Lotus – Do the Astral Plane * MF Grimm – American Hunger (Breakfast)

Johnny Mandel – Suicide Is Painless

Thursday, September 9, 2010


I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.

--Thomas Jefferson (oh yeah, Lefties can cherry-pick TJ quotes, too)

As we all know by now, some kooky pastor, Rev. Terry Jones, from a backwater Florida micro-church has made international news by claiming that he's going to burn the Quran on Saturday, September 11, because Islam kills Christians. Or something like that.

I gotta admit, as a publicity stunt, Jones has pulled off the Coup of the Year. Like Swamp Thing, he has risen from the toxic Florida sludge to terrify the entire world. He's basking in his 15 minutes now, but Lord knows, his spotlight will burn on for at least another hour at least. I see guest sermons all across this nation's fundamentalist circuit, at least one book deal, radio and television interviews, a little 69 love fest with Pat Robertson. All hail, Joe the Pastor! Wurzelbacher, look out!

And forgive me Father, for I have sinned, but I gotta confess ... I kinda want him to do it.

No, I don't hate Islam nor Muslims. Too many Muslims saved my ass back when I used to live in the Czech Republic for me to have nothing but love for those People of the Book. I owe Ayman, Bushara, Abdelatif, Mamadou, Dame, and too many others for me to feel otherwise.

It's just that I'm an American, a proud American, and I believe in all the things that make America great! Unlike all these hand-wringing Liberals whining about how this country was founded on religious freedom and tolerance, I--and the Tea Baggers--know the truth. Rev. Terry Jones is simply being true to American history.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Quote of the Day ... Hannah Arendt

"Before they seize power and establish a world according to their doctrines, totalitarian movements conjure up a lying world of consistency which is more adequate to the needs of the human mind than reality itself. ... The force possessed by totalitarian propaganda--before the movements have the power to drop iron curtains to prevent anyone's disturbing, by the slightest reality, the gruesome quiet of an entirely imaginary world--lies in its ability to shut the masses off from the real world."

Sounds like Fox News, don't it?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

And the Moral Is ... ?

I am not a modern-day parent. I am Old School. Or some bizarre kind of PC time-tempered version of said Old School. I grew up believing that my parents' word was Law. I may have questioned--mentally--but I would never, ever verbalize those questions. Hell, growing up, I was raised to not even look like I was questioning that Law. Or else there would have been hell to pay.

I can even remember the first time I went to a white friend's house and being shocked and horrified when I saw that white friend not only question his parents but his actually yelling back at his parents and even cursing at them. And then I think my eight-year-old heart actually went into cardiac arrest when the parents not only didn't whup the boy unconscious but just ... just ... they just ignored the little brat. I was so shocked and disgusted, I briefly contemplated taking off my own belt and whipping the little snot for them.

It wasn't like I was abused, or anything. I don't even remember being hit all that often. Now, as a parent, I realize that I wasn't hit nearly as often as any parent--no matter how pacifistic--wants to actually hit their child. I guess I was lucky. But you couldn't tell me that. The belief that my folks would hit me was always there. The threat always loomed. It pretty much always kept me in line.

I've talked to many white folks about these things who have literally blanched in horror at my affectionate tales of childhood fright. Who want to bring parents like mine up on charges at the Hague. Many have felt that the physical punishment and/or the incredibly severe groundings (one summer I spent the entire month of June in-doors because I dissed one friend in order to hang out with some other "cooler" friends--and girls!) should be listed as crimes against humanity. After all, kids will be kids.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Cee-Lo's Made It Official

So now, the most popular video on YouTube for the past couple of weeks now has an official video. I hope yall enjoy.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Bill Campbell: Misanthrope Show -- Episode 4

All right, I think I'm finally starting to get comfortable before the microphone. I become more and more misanthropic by the minute!

Anyway, just click on that little widget to your right and give it a listen. Here's the playlist:

Steele Beautttah – Africa * Manu Dibango – Weya * Nneka – Suffri * Wale & K’Naan – TV in the Radio * Letta Mbulu – Mahlela * Mulatu Astatke – Yegelle Tezeta *

Tim Maia – O caminho do bem * Dexter – Ultima viagem * Black Milk – Give the Drummer Sum * Mr. Chop – T.R.O.Y. * King Tee – Ruff Rhyme (Back Again) *

Mos Def – Dollar Day * The Meters – Handclapping Song * Dixie Cups – Iko Iko * Eddie Bo – Eddie’s Rubber Band * The Wild Magnolias – Soul Soul Soul *

Dr. John – Let the Good Times Roll * Irma Thomas – Turn My World Around * Lee Dorsey – Night People * The Explosions – Hip Drop * Smokey Johnson – It Ain’t My Fault * Mystikal – Bouncin’ Back (Bumpin’ Me Against the Wall) *

Sly & The Family Stone – Don’t Call Me Nigger, Whitey * Slum Village – Earl Flinn * Oscar Brown Jr. – Brother Where Are You? (Matthew Herbert Remix) * Rodriguez – Rich Folks Hoax *

Fela – Sorrow Tears & Blood